Scars
My mother- in- law was recently diagnosed with cancer. We’ve been through the one inch gash across her back that was supposedly going to be a few inches long. We have dealt with removing lymph nodes. And now we are begining to move through the phase of 20 days of meds in a port they recently inserted beneath her skin.
I am a firm believer in the miraculous. I believe that a God big enough to create the laws that govern us can figure out how to work those laws together in infite possiblities that are beyond comprehension. I think we try so hard to figure it all out sometimes that we miss the miracle. I don’t know. Maybe I’m simple, but I believe in walking on water and parting of seas.
What I am drawn up short by in the face of cancer (or any woundings and healings period)… are the scars. Scars are the visible reminders to me of the cost of battles. Even Christ wasn’t immune to this irrevocable truth.
To see a scar makes you weight the cost heavily before engaging in a war. Whether the scar is a photo essay of the ravages of cannals along the coast of New Orleans that lead to major erosion of the wetland after Katrina.(http://www.hurricaneonthebayou.com/) Or the grooves in land cut through by a glacier’s movement. (http://nsidc.org/cgi-bin/words/word.pl?glacial%20striations) Or the stories of Elie Wiesel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elie_Wiesel) or Corrie Ten Boom (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corrie_Ten_Boom). Or the longing of my baby sister and her family as they go through the process of adoption after losing a baby. Or my friend Anne who daily battles Lyme disease and writes lovely music (http://www.annedavismusic.com/). Or the scars on the earth of stone and mounds of earth marking graves (http://www.destination360.com/north-america/us/washington-dc/arlington-national-cemetery ).
Everyone has scars. I have recently become aquainted with a group of women and a few men through a forum who teach me much about scars and healing. The scars are there for numerous battles. The stories they share are remarkable stories. The people are beautiful courageous.
Anyone who knows me at all knows that Madeleine L’Engle is my hero. Her works are where I most often go when I need something from a writer to reclaim part of me. I love her work when I am searching for answers. Or when I am wounded and weary. Why? Because her characters are imperfect and scarred people doing extraordinary things. Her book House Like a Lotus is a personal favorite of mine. Two of her characters in a conversation say the following which I have often found healing:
“…The only thing is to accept, and let the scar heal. Scar tissue is the strongest tissue in the body. Did you know that?”
“No.”
“So I shouldn’t be surprised if it’s the strongest part of the soul.”
Scars and healing are one of L’Engle’s many themes in her works. Life scars. Let it heal and use it. You can turn the tables on pain and use it as a tool. L’Engle’s character Ursula and her main character Polly (one of my favorites of L’Engle’s writings) do that often.
Missy Higgin’s wrote in a song:
And doesn’t that sound familiar?
Doesn’t that hit too close to home?
Doesn’t that make you shiver; the way things could’ve gone?
And doesn’t it feel peculiar that everyone wants a little more. So that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar? (album On a Clear Night, ‘07)
So her method of using it, is turn it into a tattoo or touchstone.
Sara Groves another of my favorite music artists says this about scars:
Less like a prison, more like my room
It’s less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending
And I feel you here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars (Sara Groves, song Less Like Scars, album All Right Here, ’02)
So, hopefully, through this time in my life I will learn to appreciate the scars.
Filed under: Uncategorized on August 9th, 2009
Leave a Reply