Dreaming of Silver Roses

A preview of Christmas-y short story I’m working on…
Current mood: artistic
Category: Writing and Poetry

            “How can you just keep driving!”

Sam was completely up in arms. She and Kris had noticed the man wrapped in an army blanket with scuffed up duffle bags at his feet about the same time. They were on the interstate highway headed to town. His cardboard sign read “Home to Dallas for Christmas”. He was graying and weathered. His eyes were even gray. If Kris had to describe him in one word she would have chosen colorless. He looked tired enough to drop. In fact the cardboard placard was really just propped up against the duffle bags.

            “Samantha. It’s not like I am just blowing past the guy with no thought. We are just coming in from college for the break. All I said was that, I don’t know about you, but I want to live to see my mother for Christmas. Are you planning on bringing that guy home for diner to your mom’s? We are not even headed to Dallas. And I might add that this is the 21^st Century, honey. Have you lost your mind?”

            “Have you lost your heart!” Sam was fired up. Kris knew the ‘pastoral gleam’ in her eyes and the furrowed brow of fury. Samantha was going to launch into a patented Sam Forest special sermon on the sacredness of all humanity at any moment. Kris had personally witnessed Sam’s sacrifice and generosity to more people than she could count. She had numerous times fallen into the category of needing the sermon and now knew the signs for an upcoming tirade. Kris was often worried about how much of a pushover her roommate was. Face to face with even the hint a need for mercy and respect for a human in need and Kris had learned that she was sheer out of luck for stopping Sam. Typically this was one of Kris’ favorite traits Sam had. She saw the person- a sacred individual- in each human being that crossed her path. Kris totally believed that Samantha’s gift of mercy defined her.

In this moment however, Kris also saw that they were two girls with a loaded trunk headed home the holidays totally unprotected and alone. Kris had no kamikaze spiritual or emotional drive whatsoever. Kris absolutely sympathized with her friend. When the car stopped at a red light on the overpass where the man was sitting, shivering she could even deeply sympathize with the stranger. Here was need. Raw. Open wound need. Kris truly felt very deeply for him, but she just didn’t see putting them at risk this close to home.

            “Sam, you know that I love you. I love your big ole southern heart of hospitality and compassion. You’re my best-friend because of that gigantic heart, and while I hate to be the constant drizzle on your parade of saving the world I have to watch out for you. This time for us.  That guy might not…”

            “Might not what, Kristine? Might not be clean? Might not smell nice? Might make us late? Might take advantage of our generosity? Might not legitimately be….”

            “SAFE! God! I know you know me better than that. I’m not prejudice or judgmental. You know me! But think for a second. Sam, and again I say I love you, but you are hopelessly naive if you think everyone on the side of the highway is bubbling over with sincerity or that they might even be harmless! This isn’t Whistle Stop, Idgie! Not all gray haired old toothless men are another Smokey Lonesome! Some are just plain dangerous. Not all of your hobos coming over for money are really even in trouble, in need, or abandoned! What if there’s a gun under that blanket?”

            “But… what if that one is legit! We can’t stop to just check it out? We have the time. No one is expecting us home yet. Kris, I have a good, strong feeling about this. What’s wrong with just asking him a few questions? And hey, you so can not diss my movie like that! I don’t knock your passion for the Dallas Stars when you are so not a tomboy or all your totally geeky Scifi shows!” Kris could breathe again. If Sam could tease, then Sam was hearing her and not unforgivably angry or thinking the worst of her.

            “Look, I’m just saying, let’s be smart about this. If no one is expecting us then it would be all that much easier to disappear and not be missed for a good long time. We have two more years of classes at least!” Kris smirked. She could sense that the argument wasn’t finished. When Sam sunk her teeth into an idea especially a humanitarian effort of some kind she was like an old alligator snapping turtle. She didn’t turn loose unless it thundered. “And hey! In all fairness, I am pretty sure we resolved my geek  status when we talked about how a little Roddenberry philosophy would make the world a better place!” Kris grinned.

            “Oh, yeah, everyone would benefit from Phasers, space monsters, and clingy, skin tight jumpsuits!”

Both girls laughed. The light turned green. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Sam mulling over the next move. Kris drove on past the older man who didn’t even raise his steel gray eyes enough to notice. Cars behind her were going to follow her lead, driving past, leaving the man behind. He was barely an animated cipher- a breathing nonentity. Kris ached that anyone could live through a moment of that much invisibility.

“Okay, Sam. Before you start in on me let me just say that I totally hear what you’re saying; that we should do something. I’m not closed minded to helping. But you have to at least have suggestions we can both live with and live through? I mean, if you have an idea that won’t involve us testing that guy for an assault rifle gunning spree, then I will entertain helping him… somehow.”

“Oh, coolness!” Giddy wouldn’t have come close to describing the exclamation.  “Okay, as I see it there are a few options actually. Pull over here in the parking lot for a sec.”

Kris pulled in at a local vet clinic’s parking lot where Sam had directed. She turned down the singer crooning out the refrain, “…soon it will be Christmas day.” on the radio. She turned in her seat slightly to see Sam better. Sam was beaming. Little girl enthusiasm was all over her.

Kris loved that about her friend as well. Sam was generally bathed in childlike joy with the world. Kris was generally swimming in a heavy dose of reality. Sam was hope personified. Kris was business as usual. To Kris what Sam lacked in common sense could only be made up for in her gift of grace and joi de vive. Kris’ had to think that sheesh, maybe Samantha was the embodiment of Idgie Threadgoode!  Samantha Forest, out to save the world!  Kris grinned in spite of herself picturing Sam in a Farrah Faucet/ Charlie’s Angels flip do and velvety jogging suit from the 70′s.  In her mind she could also picture fliers of her red haired, green eyed friend on every light post. After the 70′s montage of flashbacks she flashed forward past graduation. She could just imagine hosts of parties congratulating Sam for her remarkable work for the under privileged and her multitude of humanitarian efforts. Every day life with Sam was close to life in the Peace Corps! Even at school folks knew where their room was and that Sam was a soft touch for whatever need ailed them from term papers to free rides for groceries. Kris had to protect her as much as possible. Sam saw the inherent value and best in everyone. Sam believed that aches were meant to be tended and healed. Kris knew that life didn’t always work that way.

“Kris? What are you thinking?” Sam’s green eyes locked with Kris’ brown ones. Kris pushed the dark bangs that she had been growing out back with her hand and let out a sigh.

“Sam, did you… have you… ever entertained the idea that some folks don’t want to be saved. Some just don’t. They aren’t there yet.” Sam was silent a moment mulling this news over. Kris let her simmer with the thought a moment. Kris had lived through the thought at a young age. She was all too aware of the dangers of constantly risking your heart and neck to rescue the underdog. It hadn’t saved her family.

“Well…” Sam breathed. “I’m not absolutely clueless. I know that’s true. I’m really sorry that’s true. But I have to ask you, if you live like that how do you determine who genuinely does need help and who is just a player? See, I can’t read hearts. I can only assess need. I’m not the judge and jury just hands and feet.”

“But, Sam, don’t you ever get tired of being stomped on! I mean look at Emma this year? You worked so hard helping her with Chem. She said she needed your help and you helped her every other day and she never said thank you or anything! In fact if I recall you were hurt for weeks when you found out that she had the girls in Tegan Hall laughing at ‘geek jokes’ staring you and some other really mean stuff…”

“But Kris, that’s on her. That is totally on her. It’s on me to see a need and not try to fill it. That is on me. To know there’s a right thing to do, and not do it is a sin said James. What someone does with the compassion and help I offer is their business. It can’t hurt me if I don’t own it. I give help away. What they do with their gift is their business. The joy is in the giving, Ebenezer.” Sam’s sparkling green eyes were lit up from the inside. There was nothing else Kris could do.

” Hey, I’m not a Scrooge, I … I just don’t want to come in one day and see you emotionally mashed up and banged up because you extended beyond your reach.”

“I know that. And I love you for it.” Sam reached out and rubbed Kris’ shoulder. Kris turned and gripped the steering wheel. She was not touchy feely. That was also more Sam’s field of play. She sighed. “Alrighty then, what are our options about your latest Smokey back there?”

“Ok! Here’s what I’m thinking. We can go back and give him a food card from one of the restaurants at the over pass. At least then he could eat something warm and he’d have to spend it right there. We could go by Father Philip’s office and let him know that the guy is there and see what that church could offer. We could go buy a bus ticket and take it to the man so he could take the bus to Dallas. That’s all I came up with before you grilled me. What do you think?” Sam was almost vibrating so Kris assumed she was chomping at the bit. Kris had to confess that the excitement was contagious. Especially this time of year, it was a rush. To be a potential Christmas miracle for someone was a rush.

“Ok. Well, let’s go talk to Father Philip first. His church has the only program I know of in this area for sheltering someone. If the ticket we were to buy says Smokey can only get on the bus tomorrow, it might be wise to have back up. Food wise…. well they will feed him at the shelter as well. Father Philip would have the resources to ask someone male to come along for the protection we wouldn’t have right now to mount a relocation rescue. Hmm. To me…it just seems smart to go first to the church. Will that work for you?” Kris knew Sam was amused by her “scrunched face” as Sam called it when she was seriously deep in thought. Sam was grinning with mischief so that corroborated Kris’ assumption of amusement.

“Oh yeah, totally it works! Let’s do it, Tonto!”

 “Tonto! Are you nuts! I’m driving. This is so Silver. I am the Lone Ranger.”

“Whatever you say, Kimosabe. Let’s mount a rescue. Let’s get Smokey home for holidays!”  

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 ”Do people burden you or just bother you?” – Todd Foster at Pineywoods Encampment ’94

Currently watching : Fried Green Tomatoes (Widescreen Collector’s Edition) Release date: 1998-12-15