Dreaming of Silver Roses

Acid Rain
Current mood: artistic
Category: Writing and Poetry

You say things I know are meant just to hurt me

You’re hurting and want to watch someone else bleed

It’s sort of like watching someone else’s wreck on a high way

There’s a macabre strain in you and you feel the need

To lash, and strike, to bite, and fight

It doesn’t happen all the time

But the anger grows and the valve blows

And I’m frozen in time

And this Pandora’s box of awful thoughts

Rain down and gush free, like I long to be

When you rain down that acid rain on me

I guess I should be stronger in the battle

Maybe I should stand and give back

But there are time you love me oh so tender

And I’m just not one built to return an attack

Can’t lash, or strike, can’t bite, or fight

It’s not the way I’m made

I cringe and hide and cry inside

Till this monstrous masquerade

Is over and I thaw out again in time

We gather up our fears and dry our tears

We wipe up the mess and lick our wounds clean

From the acid rain that poured down over me.

Yes, I hear you love me and you’re sorry

Other ears that matter hear us too.

I pray that in time it changes

That you are somehow healed by how much we love you.

While you rant and rage and misbehave

I just take the blows

The space of peace that comes between

Each hideous episode

Give us reprieve and we can breathe

Until again your anger shows

And the acid rain pours down over me.

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 Psalms19:14-

 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
       be pleasing in your sight,
       O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

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I was told once that words like time can’t be taken back. Like time they are a nonrenewable resource. It matters what and where and how we spend them.

I read about the spray paint can image from Dr. Gary Smalley, a fantastic marriage and family therapist. He talked about how in conflict some people react like a half full spray paint can ran over by a car. What’s inside just explodes out and all over whatever is closest. That image struck me so strongly. I know there have been moments I have stuffed and surpressed to the point that the slightest touch in just the right place have set me off.

Generationally speaking, some hand me down habits need to die in relationships. It’s not okay just because it’s all we have ever known. It takes an imensely strong, senstive, and humble person to recognize it and a dedicated person to do the work it takes to end the cycle. Abuse that is passed down and resurfaces can not be excused.

We are all responsible for ourselves and we can not allow patterns of behavior that are unfit to continue just because we don’t know any other way to react. Learn. Nothing is more human than our drive to know more and do a better job than those who have gone before us. Animals are instinctive and follow the pattern. Human beings can learn, adapt, and grow.

 I recommend Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend’s books, Dr. Gary Smalley and John Trent’s books, or Dr. Gary Chapman. There are many, many more resources. The work is always individual. The only person you can change is you.

Currently listening : Jim Brickman - Greatest Hits By Jim Brickman Release date: 2004-05-04