I have tried blogging this before and just couldn’t make the words come out right. They will probably be far from adequate this time as well, but I have to let my heart spill out a little and gush a bit because the overflow is to great to dam it up.
In my life, I have found very little I am more passionate about than my friends. I know there are people who would read this, nod their heads in assent, and still I find it difficult to believe they could really grasp the depths of that statement. There is very little in my life I am more passionate about than my close girlfriends. Next to God and my family, they are my heart beat. Because I cherish the Christ centered friendships I have, I am madly in love with their children. So is my household.
Tonight Misty calls me to talk shop and puts her Chase on the phone. In less than a blink, I think the Biblical phrase is twinkling of an eye, my whole house erupted with peals of laughter, shouts of “Come quick and hear Chase! He’s TALKING ON THE PHONE!”, and the whole house stopped to hear the sound a cat, duck, and dog makes. I can’t explain the feeling of pride I have for my friend. I wish I had words. But it is such an overwhelming sensation that unless you could crack open my chest and see it written in my heart words just won’t do it justice. Chase does that for me all the time. To hear him say “mama” is arresting. To watch him color with sidewalk chalk or chase bubbles is enthralling. To hear his adventures and to get photos is worth more than anything to me. In a million different little things, to hear, see, or touch him is almost like a hit from a heart defibulator and I would almost bet my heart skips a beat or stops completely. Wrapped up in awe of just him being Chase, is the fact that he is Misty’s son. He is my friends child. Part of my friend is there in that curly haired little lion cub. To touch, to celebrate, to hold, to hear him is to hear that part of her. I totally treasure every memory, momento, and moment with him.
I remember the first Halloween I spent with Timmy. He was a blue M&M and we crawled all over the college campus trick or treating. I was so proud of Heather’s opportunity to show him off, and of my opportunity to be there with him that I could scarcely breathe. Or the time we were sitting in the Chinese food restaurant and he was tiny and he read aloud everyone’s fortune from their cookies! The whole table was in an uproar with our young prodigy! And that’s no tall tale, Timmy is extremely smart. The words were at least a second grade level and I could have danced on a cloud for Heather. Or there was the time when he was tiny and to entertain him I took a sofa pillow down and stood on my head about a million times! I would have done it a million more just to hear him laughing. You see he is incredibly Timmy and I totally adore him, and part of the rush for me again is that he is part of Heather. For her son Caleb, seeing him smile is to see a reflection of his mama. To hear him speak is to hear the quiet strength in her voice. To experience his heart of compassion is to be loved in part by Heather. For her son Zach, I was so in heaven to hold him as he slept in my arms on the Freeport beach. To see his shy grin and draw out his play with some animal toys and action figures I brought with me was an adrenaline surge for my imagination. Heather is creative like that. Heather knows how to play. Part of my friend lives in those boys. To touch, to see, to listen to them is to share that part of her. And it is a joy that words just can’t explain.
I remember when Debi told me Ethan was coming. I purposely had to sit on my emotions to not overwhelm her! The first sonogram pictures were so priceless. She never knew it, but I sat and stared at that little tiny black and white hand in the photo and read and reread her captions over and over again! Picking out his first gift for the baby shower took months! And oh, Lord, the first time I held him…Oh good Lord, even now I can’t type it without tears of joy and pride for my friend. He just turned one. To watch him smile, to see certain expressions, to be able to hold him or sing to him… there is no greater honor to me. He is amazing. And part of my friend is in there. That is part of the gift that it is for me to spend time with him. You see time with Debi is a treasure beyond words for me. To have that with Ethan is a blast because for me it is time spent loving Debi as well.
Each of them are more than my friends. The relationships are as different as snowflakes. There are similar properties in each one, but each relationship is so unique. I can’t explain it any better than that, but those relationships are part of what makes me who I am. It’s part of what makes me proudest of and most me. To be with the boys or their mothers is the nearest I come to being fully April. There are no guards up. There is no reason to “behave well”. There is no reason to hide. There is no reason to feel embarrassed. I can just be fully me. I don’t have to wear any specific hats. I just do what I love to do… love them as best as I can in whatever form that takes.
Filed under: Uncategorized, kids, life, relationships on June 12th, 2008
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