Dreaming of Silver Roses

Mat and I finally had the talk I have waited forever to have. The ’what is grace’ conversation finally happened. We were driving to school as usual and listening to the radio and chatting. Benny Hester’s song “When God Ran” came on and I knew the opening verse talking about how big and great and powerful God is would get Mat’s attention. He loves to think about how strong and powerful something or someone is and that side of God just enthralls him. He was listening along and it talked about God running and Mat’s face in the rear view mirror was puzzled. God ran? I told him that the song was based on the story of the prodigal son. Mat knows the story and still he looked kind of baffled. The song ended and I stopped the music. I asked him if he understood what the song was about. Mat got it, but still I could tell there were some questions. So I said, “Mat, does God run from anything?”  Abbey beat him to the punch with a fast and firm, “NO!” So I said, “Then He must have been running to someone or something? What do you think about that?” Mat said that it was like the father in the prodigal son story, he ran to his son. Abbey said, “Yeah and he was being so bad! I saw the movie in God’s Kids Club (children’s church time).”  I said that the son did do some things that were pretty uncool. And I let them sit with the info for a bit.

 

I pushed play on the cd player again and it was a Phillips, Craig, and Dean song, “I Know There’s a Place Called Grace”. I asked Mat what he thought that word meant. I said we use it all the time in church – amazing grace, grace like rain, grace that is greater than all our sin. Abbey said, “It’s like Jesus and Hallelujah.” Mat said, “I have to think.” So I let him mull for a minute because like me he has to get the words together just right before throwing out an idea. We listened to the song.

 

“So many years I heard it told
The story of compassion
A prodigal son who left the fold
And found no satisfaction
On my knees, Lord, I cried out to You
“I’m so alone
But if there’s room in Your house for one more
I’m ready to come back home”I know there is a place
Where arms of compassion welcome me home
Sweet mercy falls like rain
I know there’s a place called grace…” –Phillips, Craig, and Dean, album Restoration, ’99

Mat finally said, “I guess I agree with Abbey. It’s Jesus.”  I could tell he was frustrated because it wasn’t right and enough. I asked, “Mat, why do you love Daddy?” Mat of course had a string of answers for that from fishing to computer stuff he’s good at to he takes care of me and more. I asked, “Why do you love me?” And he blushed and gushed again of the stuff I do.  I said, “Those are some beautiful things you said, son. Thank you. If I were to ask God why he loves Mat, what do you think he would say?” Mat said, “Because God is love. He just loves me.” I said, “Do you think he loves you on the days He sees me spank you? Or the days you get in trouble with your teacher? Or the days you yell at Abbey?” Mat said tentatively, yes. I said, “Do you think He loves you more on the days you do it all right? Is there more love on the days you obey?” Mat didn’t answer. I waited a second.

I asked, “Mat, do you love a baby?”  A friend of ours recently has a newborn. I asked why Mat thought they loved Elias. I said, “It’s because he cleans his room so well, right?” Mat laughed. “I said it’s because he eats all his veggies.” Abbey giggled too. “It’s because he says I love you every night before he falls asleep.” Abbey spoke up, “Mama, you know he can’t do any of that!” So I said, “Why love him then. He doesn’t sound very capable. In fact I’ve been to their house and all I see him do is sleep and eat and I hear that they have to use a ton of diapers. Why love Elias?” Mat said, “Because he’s their baby.” I stopped the car and parked and turned and looked at Mat. “And that’s like grace. If I asked God, “Why do you love Mathew Silver? Why? He sometimes gets time out at school. He obeys really well sometimes and is a terrific brother. He’s a fast runner. Is that why God? When Mat’s bad do you love him less? Do you know what God would say? God would say I love him because he’s Mat and that’s more than enough. That is grace. It’s not earned. It’s not ever going to be more because it’s a perfect love. It’s never going to be less because He’s a perfect God. He knows what He’s getting into loving us where we are. That’s grace. God’s A+ approval right now and always right where we are because we are who we are. That’s grace.” Mat smiled and was slightly teary eyed.

Abbey being Abbey said, “That’s cool, mom. So what’s mercy?” and grinned as I shooed her out of the car and off to school. We’ll do mercy later, stay tuned!

Romans 5:1-2

 

By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that’s not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise. (from The Message by Peterson)

 

A terrific resource about God’s grace is Brennan Manning’s, “A Ragamuffin Gospel” ( and believe me I can name a ton more!!!)

Currently listening : Personal Best

Filed under: Uncategorized on March 26th, 2008